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Scene 01 - EXT. Adele Stackhouse's House[]

Characters Involved[]

Synopsis[]

Bill’s car arrives outside Sookie’s house, and the two have an argument about their encounter with the police officer. Bill confesses that, had she not been there, he would have fed on the officer. Bill promises to never call on her again and leaves.

Transcription[]

We are standing in front of the Stackhouse front door. Strange music plays. The camera pans out to reveal Bill's BMW pulling up to the door, and the strange music is coming from Bill's car stereo. Bill and Sookie are inside the car, returning from Fangtasia. Bill turns off the car's headlights and engine and they remain in the car.

Bill: We've had a difficult relationship with law enforcement for many years. The man provoked me. I coulda done much worse.
Sookie: I'm sure you could have. And if I wasn't there watchin', you prob'ly would have killed that man.
Bill: Hardly.
Sookie: Would you have bit him?
(Bill stares at Sookie.)
Sookie: You see? That's just crazy! You would have fed on him and tossed him aside like an old chicken bone! And don't tell me “that's what vampires do”!
(Sookie starts to get out of the car. By the time she finds the door handle, Bill is already outside the car, opening the car door for her.)
Bill: I'm doin' my best to mainstream...
(Sookie gets out of Bill's car.)
Sookie: Suckin' the blood from a police officer is not mainstreaming.
(Bill closes the car door.)
Sookie: Neither is hosting orgies or listening to crazy Chinese gargling.
Bill: It's Tuvan throat singin'.
Sookie: Whatever. Tuvan? I don't even know where that is!
(Sookie turns and starts to walk away.)
Bill: Sookie? You cannot be frightened of everythin' you don't know in this world.
Sookie: Well my world's openin' up mighty fast! And what I got here may be boring, but it's safe! And after the past couple of nights, safe sounds good about now.

Jace_Everett_-_Bad_Things

Jace Everett - Bad Things

"Bad Things" with Lyrics

(Bill starts to walk to the door with Sookie.)
Sookie: No ...thank you. I can get this door myself.
(Sookie walks up the stairs of the porch.)
Bill: I won't call on you again.
(Sookie fishes the house key from out of her purse and opens the screen door, as Bill turns and walks to his car. A dog is in the bushes nearby.)

The scene then cuts to the series' opening credits. The credits are displayed to the tune of "Bad Things" by country singer Jace Everett.

Scene 02 - INT. Lafayette Reynolds' House[]

Characters Involved[]

Synopsis[]

Tara is furious at Lafayette for selling V to Jason and makes him promise to apologize.

Transcription[]

We are at Lafayette's apartment. Someone is knocking impatiently on the door. Lafayette, dressed in a gold robe and black babushka, turns on the lights and grabs an aluminum baseball bat. He peers through the mini-blinds that cover the doors' window, and unlocks and opens the door. Tara storms inside.

Lafayette: (whispered) Aw, gee...
(Tara picks up three items from Lafayette's mantle and throws them at him.)
Tara: Stupid! Fuckin'! Bitch!
(Lafayette swings the bat at the last item, a Troll doll with bright green hair, and hits it with the bat.)
Lafayette: Bring it on, hooka! I was All-Parish in high school.
Tara: Boy, I knew there was some stupid genes in our family, but you musta gotten 'em all! When did you start dealin' V?
Lafayette: You want some? You can use it.
Tara: Oh, you makin' jokes about it? You gonna get your ass killed, you dumb motherfucker!
(Lafayette sets the baseball bat down.)
Lafayette: Is this because I'm sellin' V, or 'cause I sold it to your sweet Jason Stackhouse?
(Lafayette sits down in a chair.)
Tara: Givin' vampire blood to Jason Stackhouse is like givin' Ho-Ho's to a diabetic! You know he can't control himself!
Lafayette: I was very clear on how to use it. It ain't my fault he ain't listen.
Tara: I had to take him to the E.R.! They drained his penis with a needle the size of an ice pick! Twice! It was the most disturbing shit I've ever seen in my entire life. And I've seen some pretty disturbin' shit!
Lafayette: Okay.
Tara: He suffered Lafayette...
Lafayette: Okay.
Tara: ...bad!
Lafayette: Okay, okay! I'm sorry. I... I go and check in on him in the mornin'. And I know he mean a lot to you and everything, but how is comin' up in my joint at three A.M., throwin' my shit around gonna make anything better?
(Tara picks up two red objects from the mantle and throws them at Lafayette. One of them breaks.)
Tara: It makes me feel better!
Lafayette: Oh! Hooker...!
(Lafayette lights a cigarette.)

Scene 03 - INT. Adele Stackhouse's Kitchen[]

Characters Involved[]

Synopsis[]

Sookie asks her Gran about her problem. Adele suggests that she not be afraid or be suspicious of him just because he is different.

Transcription[]

We are in the kitchen of the Stackhouse home, the morning after Sookie's trip to Fangtasia. Gran is frying eggs while listening to an irate caller that called her cordless telephone.

Irate Female Caller: (off-camera) Shame on you, Adele Stackhouse! Shame on you!
Gran: Who is this?
Irate Female Caller: (off-camera) A vam-purr is a perversion of humanity. And you, vamp-urr lover, are pollutin' our community by bringin' one into the open!
Gran: I suggest that you hear what he has to say before you take to lynchin' him.
Irate Female Caller: (off-camera) Well, I don't care what sort of wretches you keep in your own home, but when you bring freaks and abominations into our churches...
(Sookie enters the kitchen. Her hair is in a ponytail and she is dressed in a short purple nightshirt.)
Irate Female Caller: (off-camera) ...in front of our children, you will have...
Gran: (looking at Sookie) Well... I will be at the church early...
(Sookie sits down at the breakfast table. In front of her rests a a carafe of orange juice and a plate on which sits a sausage patty.)
Gran: ...if you would like to like to stop by and say hi. Mr. Compton's talk starts at eight.
Irate Female Caller: (off-camera) You will go to hell for this!
Gran: All right! Same to you! Bye now!
(Gran hangs up the phone.)
Sookie: Phone's been ringin' early today.
Gran: Oh. Oh!
(Sookie sips some orange juice as Gran takes the pan of eggs to the table.)
Gran: Everyone is excited about meetin' the town vampire tonight.
(She smiles at Sookie as she serves the eggs.)
Gran: I didn't hear ya come in last night.
Sookie: You went to bed early. You didn't wanna hear me come in.
Gran: Well...
(Gran chuckles and returns to the stove.)
Gran: I just thought I'd give you two a little privacy, is all.
Sookie: Am I really that much of a lost cause that you gotta pin all your hopes for me on a vampire?
(Gran returns to the table with the phone in her hand and sits down.)
Gran: But he really seems like a very nice man.
Sookie: Well, he's not.
Gran: He's not nice?
Sookie: Or a man.
Gran: Oh, goodness! Did you two have a fight?
Sookie: No. Kinda. I don't think Bill and I have very much in common. He doesn't think like we do, he doesn't feel the way we do, if he... feels at all.
(Sookie pierces a piece of sausage and eats it.)
Gran: Well, I know that, if I had a chance to know somebody who'd experienced the world differently, I'd see it as a blessing and not somethin' to be scared of. Or hate.
(Gran is holding the phone up to her chest. It rings.)
Sookie: (shaking her head) I don't hate him. I just don't want to be his girlfriend.
(The phone continues ringing.)
Sookie: Uh... the phone's ringin'.
Gran: Umm... machine'll pick it up.
(Gran smiles broadly at Sookie.)

Scene 04 - INT. Jason Stackhouse's Kitchen[]

Characters Involved[]

  • Lafayette Renolds

Synopsis[]

When Jason stops by however, Lafayette convinces him to give it another try and instructs him on how to take it properly.

Transcription[]

We are in Jason's kitchen. Lafayette watches as the pointed end of a meat thermometer is being speared into the large end of a carrot. The thermometer is shoved all the way in to the carrot.

Lafayette: Damn!
(Lafayette, wearing a black tank top and gold turban, is seated at Jason's breakfast bar, and Jason is standing.)
Jason: Yeah. Just like that. And no an-er-stay-sher, either! First, I get hauled in by the cops. Then...
(Jason holds up the impaled carrot.)
Jason: ...I gotta let a dude drain my Johnson. That's the fuck of the day!
Lafayette: Sounds like it.
(Lafayette pours himself a cup of coffee.)
Lafayette: Jason, you ain't tell nobody where you get the V at, did you?
Jason: Do I look stupid?
(Lafayette cocks his head as he sips the coffee.)'
'
Jason: I didn't even let on I was takin' anythin'. You're my dog.
Lafayette: Well, I love you right back.
Jason: But listen: You gotta stop sellin' V, man! It fucks people up. I mean, shit, now Sheriff Dearborne thinks I'm some kind of sex maniac...
(Jason goes to the refrigerator and opens it.)
Jason: ... and hell if I know if I'll ever, ever be able to look Tara in the face again.
(Jason bends over, looks for something in the refrigerator.)
Lafayette: Well, she'll get over it. The girl's been lost in love wit'choo...
(Lafayette sniffs a pint-sized carton of coffee creamer, and pours some into his coffee.)
Lafayette: ...since she was 8.
(Jason looks up from the refrigerator in disbelief.)
Jason: No shit?
Lafayette: No shit.
Jason: Oh, man. That's even worse! I had no idea!
(Jason shuts the refrigerator door.)
Jason: My life sucks so much ass. And it's all because of your fuckin' V.
Lafayette: Listen, don't blame the Ferrari just 'cause your ass can't drive. You're gonna have to learn how to ride the high, boyfriend.
Jason: Fuck that, I am done with V. Go fuck some other people up with that shit. You broke me.
Lafayette: No, man. If you can learn to control it, V will open up your mind to everything you missin' around you. That's what's gonna snap you out of all this shit.
(Jason walks up to the table, his arms folded.)
Jason: More V?
Lafayette: If done right. I got some in my car...
(Lafayette sips his coffee.)
Lafayette: ...if you want me to show you.

Jason stares at Lafayette, then looks down at the floor. Then, in Jason's living room, on top of a round glass-top table, we see four small squares that are cut out of a paper towel. The room is fairly dark, save for some sunlight coming in through a window. Lafayette places a cigarette case and a green and white plastic 6-pack cooler on the table. Lafayette is kneeling on the opposite side of the table from Jason.

Lafayette: Now, I ain't showin' you no whole vial till you learn how to use this shit right. You get me?
(Jason is sitting on the sofa, cuddling a throw pillow. Staring at Lafayette, he gestures acknowledgment with his left hand. Lafayette raises himself, while still kneeling on the floor.)
Lafayette: This...
(Lafayette holds up a vial of red liquid.)
Lafayette: ...is the life force of a vampire. They're just blood in a skin casing.
(Lafayette puts the cooler on the floor.)
Lafayette: Ain't a whole lot different between a vampire and a boudin sausage except...
(Lafayette sticks an eyedropper into the vial and extracts some of the V, tapping the dropper on the vial two times.)
Lafayette: ...for the blood. Our blood sustains life, this blood...
(Lafayette waves the eyedropper under his nose, sniffing it.)
Lafayette: ...is life. One drop...
(Lafayette places one drop of V on one of the paper squares.)
Lafayette: ...that's all you need. Can't be greedy.
(Lafayette places one drop on each of the remaining paper squares.)
Lafayette: Billions of molecules of pure, undiluted, twenty-fo' karat life. You take this in and you take in a piece of the vampire it came from. The trick is... (whispering) you have to let it take you deep. Follow it. Soak it in.
(Lafayette takes the last paper square he dabbed with V and places it in his mouth. He closes his eyes, and exhales. Jason, no longer cuddling the throw pillow, moves closer.)
Jason: What kind of vampire is that?
(Lafayette opens his eyes.)
Lafayette: He's new. So the blood is still a little wild. I can feel him in my muscles makin' me strong.
(Jason chuckles nervously, still staring at Lafayette.)
Lafayette: But you might get another side of him. The same V could affect you in a whole 'nother way. But I guarantee you'll see the world with new eyes.
(Lafayette slides a paper square with his right index finger over to Jason's side of the glass-top table. With his left hand, Jason picks up the square, looks at it, and hesitates slightly before placing it on his tongue. He closes his mouth, and then his eyes, and exhales deeply.)
Jason: Christ, I can't believe I'm doin' this again.
Lafayette: Oh, no, man. You doin' it for the first time.

Scene 05 - INT. Merlotte's Bar and Grill[]

Characters Involved[]

Synopsis[]

At Merlotte's, Sam seizes his opportunity with Sookie. He asks her to go with him to the Descendants of the Glorious Dead meeting and she agrees.

Transcription[]

We are back at Merlotte's Bar and Grill. The lunch crowd has already dispersed. Sookie and Arlene are tending to their end-of-shift duties. Four people are sitting at the other end of the bar eating their meals, including Detective Andy Bellefleur, who sits at the corner. Sookie, her hair in pigtails, has spilled some ketchup on her left hand. She grabs a towel to wipe off the ketchup. Arlene and Sam are behind the bar. A man is playing a video slots machine near the front door.

Arlene: That vampire Bill would get a rise out of that.
Sookie: You'll have to ask him yourself.
Arlene: Vamp club not all it was made out to be, huh? A lot of freaks, I hear. And people from Arkansas.
Sookie: It was fine.
(Sookie continues pouring the remainder of one bottle of ketchup into another.)
Arlene: So what, then? Did that vampire get all handsy with you?
Sookie: I can take care of myself. And no, I won't be goin' out with him again.
(Arlene looks incredulously at Sam, who cracks a small smile. Sookie stops pouring ketchup.)
Sookie: Okay, that place was kinda freaky, but how are you ever gonna know until you go see for yourself.
Sam: I said my piece yesterday.
(Sookie picks up the bottles of ketchup and continues to unite them.)
Arlene: I'm sorry it didn't turn out like you'd hoped, but better it happens now than before you end up hurt, or dead.
(Sookie looks silently at Arlene. Arlene walks away, and Sam approaches Sookie.)
Sam: I hope you're not too flipped out to miss the Descendants of the Glorious Dead tonight.
Sookie: No, I gotta go. Gran spent all week on it.
Sam: Good, 'cause... I was gonna ask if you wanna go with me.
(Andy Bellefleur and the other three diners stop eating and look over at Sam and Sookie.)
Sam: Maybe we'll go grab a cup of coffee or somethin' after.
(Sookie stares at Sam for a few seconds, and puts down the bottles of ketchup.)
Sookie: Are you askin' me out?
(Sam smiles nervously.)
Sam: Yeah, I am.
(Sam looks downward.)
Sam: That's pretty much how I do it.
(Sam looks at Sookie again.)
Sam: Sometimes they even say yes.
(Arlene is now watching Sam and Sookie with the four diners. Sookie looks at the diners, then back at Sam.)
Sookie: Everyone's lookin' at us.
Sam: I know. You better say yes.
(There is silence between Sookie and Sam, as Arlene cranes her neck to watch them from the other end of the bar. Sookie smiles.)
Sookie: Shoot. Why not?
Sam: Good.
(Sam looks at the diners, and then at Arlene.)
Sam: Eyes back on your food, people.
(Sam leaves as Sookie looks at him with a confused smile. Shortly thereafter, Detective Andy Bellefleur is the only one left sitting at the bar. He wipes his mouth with a napkin. Sookie brings him a refilled bottle of ketchup and places it in front of him.)
Sookie: Sorry about that. They were all kind of watery.
Andy Bellefleur: No sweat. Love is in the air, huh?
Sookie: Uh, I guess?
Andy Bellefleur: Even that brother of yours. He gettin' serious with Tara?
Sookie: Tara who? Tara Tara?
Andy Bellefleur: I thought you knew.
Sookie: If there was any truth to it, I would.
Andy Bellefleur: (thinking) There you go, right there. I knew it. Tara ain't bangin' Stackhouse. Bitch lied to me.
Sookie: Watch your mouth, Andy Bellefleur.
Andy Bellefleur: I didn't say anything. (Looking directly at Sookie, thinking) I know I didn't say anything, but I did think it. And you heard it, that means it's true. You can hear what people think.
Sookie: Let me get you a refill on that tea.
(Sookie picks up the red plastic tumbler in front of Andy Bellefleur and walks behind him to his left. He looks to where Sookie has walked. Sookie enters the service area of Merlotte's. Sam is drying a tumbler.)
Sookie: (to Sam) Need a sweet tea.
(Sookie places the tumbler she took from Andy Bellefleur on a stainless steel tabletop by Sam.)
Sookie: Tara here yet?
Sam: She just came in. She's in the ladies' room.
(Sookie turns and storms to the ladies' room, where Tara is fixing her hair in front of a mirror. Sookie opens the door, and Tara turns to face her.)
Tara: Why didn't you tell me you were goin' out with Sam?
Sookie: Because it... just happened. And how did you know?
Tara: Arlene, she works fast.
Sookie: All's he did was ask me to the DGD tonight. It's in a church, for cryin' out loud.
(Sookie looks out into the service area at Sam through the open door of the ladies' room, then looks back at Tara.)
Sookie: And why shouldn't I? He's perfectly nice, and he's got a good job, and he's not a vampire, and... oh, why... why do I have to justify this to you?
Tara: Wha...I'm entitled to know what my girl's up to, ain't I?
Sookie: Yeah, about that...
(Sookie closes the door to the ladies' room as Sam watches from the service area.)
Sookie: Why does Andy Bellefleur think you're seein' my brother?
Tara: I went down to the sheriff's and gave Jason an alibi.
Sookie: What'd you do that for?
Tara: Because I know he's innocent and so do you. And we both know the more time he spends with the police the more he's gonna talk himself into trouble.
(Tara looks rather evasive.)
Sookie: Is there something' else you're not tellin' me?
Tara: No.
Tara: (thinking) La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la ...
Sookie: What are you doin'?
Tara: Not every detail of everyone's personal life is your business, okay?
(Tara opens the door to the ladies' room, and walks into the service area, passing Sam.)
Tara: (shouting) Keep that girl away from me!
(Sookie leaves the ladies' room, walks into the service area, and picks up a red plastic tumbler.)
Sam: Is everything okay?
(Sookie leaves the service area, and takes the red plastic tumbler to Andy Bellefleur, who is resting his chin on his wrists. She places the tumbler on the bar in front of him as he sits up.)
Sookie: Here you go. Hey... now that I think of it, my brother and Tara have kind of been sneakin' around lately. It's a shame they feel they gotta keep it quiet.
Andy Bellefleur: (looking directly at Sookie; thinking) She must think I'm an idiot, like I don't know now she's coverin' for him too. Shit, don't look her in the eye.
(Andy looks away from Sookie.)
Sookie: If you're gonna accuse me of lyin', be a man and say it out loud, for Pete's sake.
(Andy looks at Sookie again.)
Sookie: Either way, I'm gonna hear you whether you look me in the eye or not. Let's face it, there's not a whole lot of ideas in there. Like mice in a cage.
(Andy is still looking at Sookie.)
Sookie: I know you're graspin' at straws, but don't drag my brother down with you.
(Sookie turns around, and heads toward the other end of the bar, while Andy watches, pouting.)


True Blood Season 1 Transcripts
Season 2 >>Season 3 >>Season 4 >>
#01 "Strange Love"#07
#02 "The First Taste"#08
#03 "Mine"#09
#04 "Escape from Dragon House"#10
#05 "Sparks Fly Out"#11
#06 #12
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