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#1 Vote up
Pam: I don't know what it is about me that makes people think I want to hear their problems. Maybe I smile too much. Maybe I wear too much pink. But please remember I can rip your throat out if I need to. And also know that I am not a hooker. That was a long, long time ago.
votes #2 Vote up
Sookie about Bill: I just keep expecting him to come through the door and say....SookEH....
votes #3 Vote up Jason
: There's werewolves?
: What about Bigfoot. Do you think he's real?
: I suppose it's possible. [Pause]
votes #4 Vote up
Pam: I am so over Sookie and her precious fairy vagina and her unbelievably stupid name! Fuck Sookie!
votes #5 Vote up
Russell: Now, time for the weather. Tiffany?
votes #6 Vote up
Eric to Bill and Alcide: Well, if you two have finished eye fucking each other, can we go?
votes #7 Vote up Jason
: Maybe Jesus was the first vampire. Man, he rose from the dead too, and he told people, 'Hey y’all, drink my blood, it’ll give you special powers'.
votes #8 Vote up Godric
): Fader (Father), Broder (Brother), Son (Son)
votes #9 Vote up Lafayette
: In this restaurant a hamburger deluxe come with french fries, lettace, tomato, mayo, and
! Do anybody got a problem with that?
votes #10 Vote up Pam
(to Eric): Blah, blah, vampire emergency, blah
votes #11 Vote up Sookie
: I'm a fairy? How fucking lame.
votes #12 Vote up Lafayette
: I know every man gay, straight, or George Motherfucking Bush is terrified of the pussy
votes #13 Vote up Sookie
: You have a lot of love for him.
: Don’t use words I don’t understand.
votes #14 Vote up
Eric: " I know that I'm a vampire Snookie
votes #15 Vote up Pam
(to jessica over the phone): Well did you call the hypothetical hardware store and buy a theoretical chainsaw?
votes #16 Vote up Jessica
: (to Bill) I want to kill people. I’m so hungry, and all you do is talk, and I’m starving. You’re so mean! You're supposed to take care of me. That’s what you said. And, oh, you SUCK! hahahahahahahaha That’s funny because you Do suck.
votes #17 Vote up
Russell: You are not our equals. We will eat you. After we eat your children.
votes #18 Vote up Eric
): I got your rug all wet.
votes #19 Vote up Lafayette
: Bitch, you me bridge, aint gon never motherfuckin happen.
votes #20 Vote up
Jason(to Steve): I've already been to heaven...inside your wife
votes #21 Vote up
Lafayette: I wanted to meet the sick f**k who ordered the veggie burger *gestures* with bacon.
votes #22 Vote up
Bill to Jessica:..In this house we Recycle
votes #23 Vote up
Eric to Sam: Can you give me Sookie Stackhouse? Sam:No, Eric: Well that's a shame.
votes #24 Vote up Sookie
: I'm in no mood for lesbian weirdness tonight, Pam
votes #25 Vote up Eric
(about Pam): She's extremely lazy, but loyal.
votes #26 Vote up
Eric: (to Pam) You know I love you more when your cold and heartless.
votes #27 Vote up Jessica Hamby
(after Sam tells her she must be 18 to wait tables) That's so unfair! I'm never gonna be 18!!
votes #28 Vote up
Lafayette..Ring ring Hooka
votes #29 Vote up Eric Northman
: to (yvetta) you gold digging whore
votes #30 Vote up
Sookie (to Eric): Go back to hell where you came from, you fucking dead piece of shit!
votes #31 Vote up
Sophie-Anne (to Eric): Hell hath no fury like a vampire queen broke!
votes #32 Vote up Talbot
after learning he killed the
): You can't buy your way out of everything! (
response): Of course I can...This is America.
votes #33 Vote up Debbie Pelt (about Sookie)
: She f***ed my fiance and killed my boyfriend. She's a c***
Yes, but she's special c***unt.
votes #34 Vote up
Terry: (to Arelene) #3 I never killed nothing by accident!
votes #35 Vote up Sookie
about mini-alcohol bottles
): I’ve always liked these. They’re like booze for dolls. They gave me ten.
votes #36 Vote up
votes #37 Vote up
Jason: Were you listening to me? I got gout...of the dick!
votes #38 Vote up
Sookie (to Bill): Just once, I'd like to not find a dead body in my house. Is that asking too much?
votes #39 Vote up
Lafayette: That's the sickest sh*t I've ever seen...and I watch Dance Moms!
votes #40 Vote up
votes #41 Vote up
Tara: It was a mother f**king Paul Bunyan pig!
votes #42 Vote up Lafayette
- That boy is sex on a stick. I don't give a good damn how stuck up he is.
votes #43 Vote up Ruby Jean Reynolds
Maybe God really does love Fag's
votes #44 Vote up Sam Merlotte
: It took me this long to realize you suffer a lot longer hidin' something than if you face up to it.
votes #45 Vote up Sookie Stackhouse
: to (eric) Okay enough, I get it, i'm irresistable
votes #46 Vote up Sookie Stackhouse
(to bill): God fuckin' damnit, i really am an alien.
votes #47 Vote up
Debbie: They killed my Cooter!!
votes #48 Vote up Melinda
): His cheese done slid off his cracker!
vote #49 Vote up
Jason (about Steve): That white suit wearing mother f**ker.
vote #50 Vote up Sophie Ann
: to (russell): Go fuck yourself
: No, Sweetheart. You go fuck yourself!
vote #51 Vote up
Pam(to arlene's kids): I am so glad I never had any of you!
vote #52 Vote up Jason
: Honesty My Ass Shithead
vote #53 Vote up Russell
(to Sookie): There's a fine line between feisty and delusional. You're not really in any position to bargain
vote #54 Vote up Russell
: There's a New Fu***** Authority in Town
vote #55 Vote up
Talbot: You're not supposed to bring work home.
vote #56 Vote up
Nan (to bodyguards): Bring a couple of coffins for Eric and his...whatever you are.
vote #57 Vote up Jessica
: Jessica I have errands to run. Errands that do not require your presence, so remain here and do your best to stay out of trouble.
vote #58 Vote up
Bill:Cooter? Seriously? Coot:Call me that again. I fuckin' dare you
vote #59 Vote up Terry
): It's not you, it's me. If I had a nickle for every time somebody said that, I'd have... 15 cents.
votes #60 Vote up Russell
: The authority? Haha! Who are the authority?
votes #61 Vote up Russell
: actually no, say hello to the true death!
votes #62 Vote up
Pam: You Can Dish it But You Sure Can't Take it Can You Magister
votes #63 Vote up
votes #64 Vote up Jason
: I've got gout - of the d***!
votes #65 Vote up
Coot: You're about to be deader, dead-ass mother-fucker
votes #66 Vote up
[Tara] low self-esteem, childhood trauma, blah blah snore.
votes #67 Vote up
Arlene: (to Terry) You're sweatin' like a ice water pitcher!
votes #68 Vote up
Russel: A good woman is only a woman... But a good cigar, is a smoke....